NOTE: This article is part of the forthcoming book, the Gotcha Guide™ to Buying or Investing in Real Estate. Email us to join the mailing list for the release date.
–by DeeinAustin™
You may wonder why I'm writing about apologies and what they have to do with real estate gotchas.
I'm a strong proponent of a well-placed, well-thought apology. On the other hand, I believe that an insincere or poorly-made apology is the quickest way to diminish trust in a relationship. Trust is key to any business transaction, especially in real estate since there are so many parties involved.
Successful agents and investors realize is that bad things happen. People make mistakes. Wires get crossed. Deadlines get missed. Paperwork becomes lost. This is all part of navigating the waters of a typical real estate transaction.
The instant these "bad" things happen, you step into the spotlight as a professional. You could be the buyer, seller, agent, inspector, lender etc., the role doesn't matter. You're on stage and will propose a solution that will either deepen OR weaken your relationship with the other party. In addition, an apology may be due in some instances.
STOP! BEFORE YOU APOLOGIZE...
If you've ever taken a course on powerful language, you've learned some rules of when to apologize because a bad apology can make you look extremely weak.
Before you say "I'm sorry, I meant...", "I apologize, I'm late...", "Oh, forgive me, I thought..."
...realize that apologies are like presents. You can't hand them out like free candy and expect others to value them. Apologies have to be thoughtful, sincere, and special to the person they are being given. Otherwise, they're meaningless and will fall on deaf ears.
Here are my three rules for the apology gotcha:
1. Act quickly. If there's bad blood in a business situation or someone feels burned, quickly assess your situation to determine if an apology is warranted. Don't try to wait it out. The Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska circa 1989 is one of the biggest examples of bad corporate decisions during a time of crisis. Exxon appeared weak, indecisive, and even untrustworthy when they didn't act quickly in fessing up to one the biggest oil spills in history.
2. Apologize when it matters and to whom it matters. Don't apologize if you didn't do anything wrong. Don't apologize to someone who doesn't care. I heard an agent apologize to a title company rep because the transaction didn't close on time. First, it wasn't the agent's fault. She was doing a good job. Second, the title rep could not have cared less. She just wanted to know what to do next. This wastes a bag of your apology candy. That title rep no doubt threw away that apology, making the next "I'm sorry" less valuable.
3. Quit with the whining already! Apologies are not excuses. An excuse is a sorry reason why you didn't do something you should have. An apology is a sincere attempt to mend a relationship, based on knowing what you did wrong, why, and identifying how the situation will be avoided in the future. When you apologize, relay how you will fix the situation, then fix it. If you apologize twice for the same situation, the other party will toss you, their faith in you, and your candy out on the street.
Keep in this in mind. I am "pro" apology. Most of us are.
Candy is good. Free candy is better.
...Apology candy gets old, stale, and rotten when used incorrectly.
-All rights reserved © Dee Copeland 2007
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